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Why to Pay Attention to Dreams: by Hilary When I was very small I had a dream that I was in a hallway lined on both sides with cage doors and it was urgent that I get as many people out as possible with the key I was holding, loved ones among them. I remembered it for years until I could write. The first journal I ever began was a Dream Journal in fourth grade or so: I simply recorded them as well as I could remember them on a sheaf of notebook paper I tied together with string, beginning with the Cage Door Dream. But as I grew older and nobody on the outside of me echoed how I felt on the inside, my interest fell away to be replaced by other - though I did not know it then - very similar things: faerytales, ghost stories, saints and miracles and religion. Not surprising as we had moved to Texas by then and my grandmother had started to take me to church; the Presbyterian Church, God's Frozen Chosen. And not to knock church, but I was expecting - needing even - a real experience and connection with God. I used to read the passage in the Old Testament about Moses with yearning because as it said "Moses was God's Friend"... how do you do that, I wondered??? I wanted more than anything to have daily conversations with my Creator. Exit high school, Texas, my mother's family, church and enter college, my father, Colorado, True Friends... and Dream Group. My Father lived in Durango and persuaded me to go to this tiny little school few had heard of which had a reputation for not being very serious about academics; something I took very seriously... Fantasy # 2 was me, bespectacled, high in a tower surrounded by books, telescopes, astrolabs, sextants, and esoteric diagrams... and no people, especially boys: too much trouble. But it was a good place to learn to ski. Which I wanted to learn to do about as much as I wanted to learn to perform tooth extractions - on myself - without anesthesia. Yay. Talk about Mysterious Ways. So I ended up at Fort Lewis College, Campus in the Sky, not knowing that this, as always is the case I believe, would bring me exactly what I longed for. The first year I found some of my closest friends, one of whom became my husband, Strider. They didn't care if I was being a Good Christian. They wanted to know who I was apart from who I thought I should be. My professors taught me to use my rational brain, which I used to good effect by applying it to a burdensome Christianity. I came to see that the Church was an organization made by humans to hold the power to make changes in the world. Not good, not evil, and it was also not a link to God, for that you would have to go to the source: People, Nature, and Dreams. I wanted to experience the Void which creates us, nourishes us, teaches us, and receives us again in the end... Dreams are our most direct link with that Void. This brings us to Colin Smith and Dream Group. Under the aegis of the Counseling Center one Colin Smith plied his trade in one-on-one counseling and in groups of total strangers who met to discuss dreams of castles and incest, sex with dragons, shit, celebrities with antlers, pagan gods and shopping for soulmates in the mall... scenarios as unpredictable and varied as the dreamers and always beautiful in the way the Grand Canyon is beautiful. Some were epic and earth shaking, some were about the fast food you ate at midnight the night before. All were trying to communicate something. Just like calling a friend to get advice on a current project, or as one of my soul friends says "shoot the shit", they could be visual puns and make you laugh like the "Her Beaver Ate my Tree" Dream where my furry four-legged friend chased Strider's pink sap covered log down a hill... I'll leave you to ponder; or they felt so real you were sure they were memories, only the names and circumstances had changed. Whatever they were trying to say, they not only spoke to the dreamer, but to all of us. We needed each other to stay honest. For the mind often didn't want to hear what the dream had to say. A dream of wearing an orange tutu with liberty striped suspenders... and nothing else... spoke of a relationship that was ill fitting, unflattering, and unseemly. There were similar symbols with completely different meanings. One woman dreamed of excrement, which, in her lexicon of dream meanings, meant prosperity: she once worked in a sanitation plant and made an excellent wage. For another woman the symbol had a more traditional meaning: life turned to shit. There were others who dreamed of talking animals which were especially interesting. The meanings were always important in a spiritual way. This has led me to suspect that totemic beliefs are not as anthropomorphic as some of the driest anthropology proposes. Some dreams had themes spanning years. I had a series of dreams about death, which culminated in the reawakening of my sense of self after bearing three children. Death dreams, by the way, don't look like falling off a cliff, or being in a car accident - necessarily - they look more like closing up the house in preparation for a long journey. Further complicating things is that death is itself one of the more potent symbols. Like the crap dreams above illustrate, meanings can change for different people. Death, as the Tarot illustrates, seems to mean Change. To die to the form you were in and be reborn. Art - in this case Dreams - mirror reality. To have your Dreams in from to you is a lot like having an Opera playbook. It is a way to know the deeper meaning of your life as it unfolds rather than trying to piece it together at the end. Pagans are in a special place here. Not being bound by restrictive dogmas, and being nourished by stories of deeds which speak directly to the psyche, they are better able to accept the more disturbing symbols. This makes it easier to focus on the message and make the necessary adjustments. The other is caught up in trying to cleanse himself of "sin" and so can't hear what they are being told. Dream language is high in shock value. It is more important to know the cause of one's behavior and to accept that that is the way things are in the present than it is to grovel and prostrate, for guilt takes up the energy that would otherwise be used to gain greater wisdom. We are all capable, to a greater or lesser degree, of changing our lives for the better. The Old Stories together form a single tradition can provide a roadmap for dream interpretation which helps us to make life changes, and finally prepares us for the ultimate connection: a Good Death. If you have any questions about this article please email Hilary.
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