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Hilary 
Once upon a time there was a collection of four people at a local establishment we shall call "The Dinner Plate". A young lady across the aisle from them who had been cavorting with her folks and dallying with her significant other presumably had to use the loo and so disappeared for the space of several minute in that direction only to reappear suddenly on the arm of said boyfriend. As she turned around to embrace him, perhaps to melt just a little further into his person, she exposed her somewhat ample backside to their table whereupon my friend's eyes grew large as the brandy snifter glasses my mother frequently wears to protect her eyes. For there, trailing lightly from her bottom, was that snowy white veil of private cleanliness: approximately five connected squares or presumably dry toilet paper. You or I might have cleared our throats and looked away in embarrassment; making for nearest exit as soon as our plates were empty; hoping she might do the same in short order, thus curtailing the suffering of us all! But undoubtedly, who could fail to alert her in the process? And so alerted, does it burden the imagination to think she might find herself in an apoplectic fit of humiliation and regret so severe that she may have committed hari kiri with one of the eateries box cutters? Surely brave gallantry would dictate that my friend rise and discreetly inform her of her unseemly passenger, but could we guarantee against the aforementioned fate even so? Other baser, less politic, dreadknots would have undoubtedly pointed and sniggered just loud enough for the poor creature to notice. And they, having had their cruel laugh at her expense, might have prevailed upon her doughty man to beat them to a mash in the parking lot, thus necessitating the arrival of a squadron of police who would have locked him up, and doomed him to a life of recitivistic crime. One pales at the mere thought of the potential carnage wrought through both good and evil intent! So what did my friend do? It was an act forever deserving of immortalization in the Halls of the Triskelion Third Way, he found the Razor's Edge, he Walked the Line! If Saint Vitus had been in residence he would have bandied about with terpsichorian delight at what my friend actually did. IT was the most compassionate, mature, dignified, and dignifying response I have ever heard of, much less witnessed: Eyes still wide, he took with trembling hand the wringing appendeges of those within his reach and verily LO! Did he get down upon his knee in reverence, averting his gaze from that most holy of sights!! And they did worship at the alter of Levity from everlasting to Everlasting! He Had the wisdom to know that this moment would live forever, a symbol of all that is greatest within the confines of the human soul: the yin and yang of opposites come together as One. She represents for All who have eyes to see and ears to hear and lightness of soul to act upon it: the profanity and the sacrisity, the beauty and baseness, the joy and heartbreak, the Unutterable Contradiction of absurdity and Gravity come together. It is possible that he was mocking her, but in the same breath he was also honoring her. And thus ends the reading. discuss. "People of zee Wurl, Relax."- Sailorboy, beloved meal.
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